The blog of writer, photographer, Randy J. Cole. The blog will include personal thoughts on todays issues as well as stories I have written of interest from travel,Thai food,to politics. Randy is a published writer whose stories have been featured in Northwest newspapers. One such story was edited by Mr. Ben Stein.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
A Good Story For You!
This story was given to me by a friend who gave me permission to post it as long as names and locations were removed. It is a gem and will make you laugh!
R.J. Cole
I have a story JUST for you...... think was 13 when I almost burned
down a millionaires vacation home with a stupid idea and created a
UFO conspiracy report.
I was spending the night with a friend ... and he showed me his dad's
prized antique shotgun. I have no idea what gauge it was.... but was
a lot bigger than a 12ga. He said it kicked so hard if you did not
hold it well would break your shoulder. It was massively heavy.
I said lets shoot it off the back porch. He gave me this huge lists of
reasons this was a bad idea.... one was that his ex-military dad would
kill us and 2....there were houses everywhere around us.
It smelled well cleaned and told him would clean it as soon as we fired
it and would smell the same way.... and we did not need to risk using
active ammo we could reload a shell with toilet paper. What could go
wrong????
You see this coming...... right?
This shell was huge... almost twice the size of a 12ga... and I was told
they were hand reloaded as hard to find. There was one box of empties and
another of live shells.... old yellow things. So we got one and a
screw driver and opened it up.... damn the shot in it was huge like 20
and each was the size of a .22 ... this was like an elephant gun. So we
emptied out the lead balls and got this huge wad of toilet paper and
rammed it into the ammo area and super compressed it so as to make a
blank. (See this was a great plan,) and sealed up the shell. Mind you we
beat the toilet paper in to really make a good solid wad.
So we go out on his back porch and the idea is to shoot it up in the air
and run in the house as we are in a richy fartsy upscale neighbourhood.
My friends dad was due home soon too, it was about midnight and we had an hour max to do this
thing.
So I point it up and pull the trigger....
OMG! I swear it was the loudest firearm to this day ever fired, it
sounded like a cannon or a tank. I had a class 3 FFL for many years
in my 20s and fired about everything so I say this now with a lot of
experience.
It made a muzzle flash that not only was blinding but lit up the whole
neighbourhood..... worse yet... the kick was insane and left a deep bruise
in my shoulder just as he said and knocked me back off my feet as I was not
standing well for this kind of recoil and was on the porch rail...... so as
lay there on the porch gravity plays the final joke and as my sight is fading
back in from the flash .... watching this flaming ball come falling down and
and onto the neighbour’s house.... rolls down the shingles into his gutter and into the
gutter is full of dried leaves and bursts into flames. My friend is freaking
and is talking to me but cannot hear a damn word as my ears are one loud
ringing noise.
I Think - OHHHH CRAP!
Ran into the house --- was so pumped up jumped the guys couch holding
this heavy ass gun and tossed it into the hall as we ran outside to put
out the fire.
The neighbours were not there and was no hose... so we ran and got a hose
and thank goodness there was water.... by now the whole gutter was really
flaming like a grill..... we started hosing it down like crazy and got
it put out.
We then had to hide as the neighbourhood watch group was walking around
with flashlights to see what all the noise had been (now days they would have
sworn was an extremist attack) and then we snuck back to his house.
They were doing a house to house check to make sure everyone was ok.
I was cleaning the crap out of this shotgun, and it was a huge double
barrel thing that was just massive..... and just finally got it to not
smell fired and all shiny and back in the closet with the empty shell
in the empty box when the dad pulls in the driveway in his Benz.
Mind you are still people circulating looking for the source of the
explosion and they are asking if everyone has power and even asking
if an airplane could have crashed at the lake near us as people have
told them they saw some type of flaming object come down and crash.
We come outside then as the dad is talking to a group of the men and I am
sure he is thinking we did some crazy shit.... but he never questioned us
and we were so glad. He did give us this one look that said if knew the 2
of us had anything to do with this he would beat us both and that alone
was scary.
Here is the ringer.... they finally blamed it on a meteor and was even
an article in the newspaper were people claimed to have seen it falling
and heard it on the other side of town echoing..... the boom was blamed
by some astronomer expert as a sonic shock wave it created as it passed
through the atmosphere. Some people at the time had seen it and thought
it could have been a UFO that crashed into the lake and said the report
was B.S. and the astronomer expert was covering up for the government. :)
Think learned a lesson as never did anything that stupid ever again.
------ Original Message ------
Received: 06:18 PM EDT, 08/13/2013
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