Thursday, August 15, 2013

A Good Story For You!

This story was given to me by a friend who gave me permission to post it as long as names and locations were removed. It is a gem and will make you laugh! R.J. Cole I have a story JUST for you...... think was 13 when I almost burned down a millionaires vacation home with a stupid idea and created a UFO conspiracy report. I was spending the night with a friend ... and he showed me his dad's prized antique shotgun. I have no idea what gauge it was.... but was a lot bigger than a 12ga. He said it kicked so hard if you did not hold it well would break your shoulder. It was massively heavy. I said lets shoot it off the back porch. He gave me this huge lists of reasons this was a bad idea.... one was that his ex-military dad would kill us and 2....there were houses everywhere around us. It smelled well cleaned and told him would clean it as soon as we fired it and would smell the same way.... and we did not need to risk using active ammo we could reload a shell with toilet paper. What could go wrong???? You see this coming...... right? This shell was huge... almost twice the size of a 12ga... and I was told they were hand reloaded as hard to find. There was one box of empties and another of live shells.... old yellow things. So we got one and a screw driver and opened it up.... damn the shot in it was huge like 20 and each was the size of a .22 ... this was like an elephant gun. So we emptied out the lead balls and got this huge wad of toilet paper and rammed it into the ammo area and super compressed it so as to make a blank. (See this was a great plan,) and sealed up the shell. Mind you we beat the toilet paper in to really make a good solid wad. So we go out on his back porch and the idea is to shoot it up in the air and run in the house as we are in a richy fartsy upscale neighbourhood. My friends dad was due home soon too, it was about midnight and we had an hour max to do this thing. So I point it up and pull the trigger.... OMG! I swear it was the loudest firearm to this day ever fired, it sounded like a cannon or a tank. I had a class 3 FFL for many years in my 20s and fired about everything so I say this now with a lot of experience. It made a muzzle flash that not only was blinding but lit up the whole neighbourhood..... worse yet... the kick was insane and left a deep bruise in my shoulder just as he said and knocked me back off my feet as I was not standing well for this kind of recoil and was on the porch rail...... so as lay there on the porch gravity plays the final joke and as my sight is fading back in from the flash .... watching this flaming ball come falling down and and onto the neighbour’s house.... rolls down the shingles into his gutter and into the gutter is full of dried leaves and bursts into flames. My friend is freaking and is talking to me but cannot hear a damn word as my ears are one loud ringing noise. I Think - OHHHH CRAP! Ran into the house --- was so pumped up jumped the guys couch holding this heavy ass gun and tossed it into the hall as we ran outside to put out the fire. The neighbours were not there and was no hose... so we ran and got a hose and thank goodness there was water.... by now the whole gutter was really flaming like a grill..... we started hosing it down like crazy and got it put out. We then had to hide as the neighbourhood watch group was walking around with flashlights to see what all the noise had been (now days they would have sworn was an extremist attack) and then we snuck back to his house. They were doing a house to house check to make sure everyone was ok. I was cleaning the crap out of this shotgun, and it was a huge double barrel thing that was just massive..... and just finally got it to not smell fired and all shiny and back in the closet with the empty shell in the empty box when the dad pulls in the driveway in his Benz. Mind you are still people circulating looking for the source of the explosion and they are asking if everyone has power and even asking if an airplane could have crashed at the lake near us as people have told them they saw some type of flaming object come down and crash. We come outside then as the dad is talking to a group of the men and I am sure he is thinking we did some crazy shit.... but he never questioned us and we were so glad. He did give us this one look that said if knew the 2 of us had anything to do with this he would beat us both and that alone was scary. Here is the ringer.... they finally blamed it on a meteor and was even an article in the newspaper were people claimed to have seen it falling and heard it on the other side of town echoing..... the boom was blamed by some astronomer expert as a sonic shock wave it created as it passed through the atmosphere. Some people at the time had seen it and thought it could have been a UFO that crashed into the lake and said the report was B.S. and the astronomer expert was covering up for the government. :) Think learned a lesson as never did anything that stupid ever again. ------ Original Message ------ Received: 06:18 PM EDT, 08/13/2013